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Cues to Action
Sometimes we've identified the changes we need to make, and we're fully committed to doing so, but lack of sense of urgency that tells us the time to make the change is now even though the time really is now. In these cases what we are often lacking are what are called cues to action. Cues to action are the signals sent out by the people around us, or by our bodies or environment, that tell us the time to act is now. Frequently the problem isn't that the cues are missing, it's that we're not picking up on them. Fortunately, picking up on these cues, sometimes called reading the room, is something we can learn to do. Below are some details about improving your ability to perceive cues.
Cues to Action
When discussing improvements to our ability to read the room, it's important to distinguish between:
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internal sources, and
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external sources.
To the right is more information about each type, and some things we can do to improve our ability to pick up on them.
1. Internal
Internal cues to action are physical and emotional signs that something is wrong and needs to be addressed immediately. We often ignore or explain away these signs because we are afraid to admit something is wrong with us. But we do so at our own peril. To strengthen your ability to perceive and respond to these cues, try the following.
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Listen to your body – pay attention to pain, heart irregularities, weakness, or generalized anxiety, and other signals from your body that tell you that you need at a minimum to rest, a change in environment, or to change your lifestyle.
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Recognize emotional responses – try monitoring your emotions, perhaps leaving notes in visible places reminding you to take note of what you are feeling and why.
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Reflect – when you notice you are feeling a strong emotion, ask yourself what happened to make you feel that way, and have in mind how you would prefer to react to whatever the cause was. Try to move from automatic, uncontrolled reactions to intentional, planned reactions.
2. External
External (social) cues are nonverbal signals used by others to express emotions, intentions, and reactions during normal social interactions. These include facial expressions and body language, which provide context for what is or isn't being said. Improvements in your perception of these cues come from:
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observation and practice,
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feedback, and
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guidance.
Observation and practice involves watching others interact, watching body positioning and movements, facial expressions, and vocal tones that correspond to emotional reactions.
Feedback refers to asking family and friends to provide feedback on your own ability to pick up on cues. Ask them to be honest, and try not to react emotionally to what they say. Rather, view it as an opportunity to learn, and improve.
Guidance comes from a mentor or therapist, preferably a professional who can not only guide you through the learning process but also provide objective feedback.